The devastating impact of stalking – and why so many victims stay silent

Written: November 3, 2025

“If there was a school of stalking, the perfect crime would be where the victim was the only person who knew they were being stalked and everyone else thought they were mad.”

These were the words of a senior police officer at a review of a complex stalking case that I attended. I run a Suicide Crisis Centre and we witness the devastating impact of stalking on individuals.

The senior police officer’s description encapsulates why so many victims of stalking remain isolated and silent, fearing that they will be disbelieved or their experiences dismissed. This can be particularly true when the victim is under psychiatric services. They may fear that their description of their stalking experiences will be put down to paranoia or mental illness – for example if they are describing how the stalker is monitoring their movements and communications.

Victims do not only fear going to the police. They may struggle to tell family or friends, too. The incidents in isolation may not amount to a crime – and some incidents may not sound serious or harmful to an outsider. So if you describe a single incident or even a couple of incidents, friends or family may not see their significance. They may dismiss or downplay the incidents. This can leave the victim feeling even more isolated.

The senior police officer at the meeting gave the example of a stalker moving the plant pots around in a victim’s garden. As an isolated incident, that may sound a minor thing, but in the context of multiple other stalking incidents it becomes unnerving and invasive. The stalker is accessing your garden, invading your space and is letting you know that they are doing so.

Stalking is about an accumulation of multiple incidents. It’s a pattern of behaviour. It’s about fixation and obsession. The Crown Prosecution Service describes stalking as Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repeated (FOUR) behaviour which is intrusive.” https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/stalking-or-harassment

There are different “types” of stalkers and different motivations for stalking. As well as “intimacy seekers” (who are seeking a relationship with the victim) there are “rejected stalkers” (who may be seeking both reconciliation with and revenge on their ex-partner) and “resentful stalkers” where motivations include revenge, control and making the victim suffer: https://explore.bps.org.uk/content/report-guideline/bpsrep.2022.rep169/chapter/bpsrep.2022.rep169.7

It is not just the fear of being disbelieved that deters victims from disclosing the crimes or going to the police. Victims are often painfully aware how few stalking cases end in a conviction – or even get to court in the first place. The stalking charity Suzy Lamplugh Trust’s “super-complaint” to the police in 2022 was a result of their finding that only 5% of reports of stalking to the police in the year ending March 2022 resulted in a charge by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS). https://www.suzylamplugh.org/super-complaint-submitted-on-police-response-to-stalking

Far too many victims are left trying to navigate the situation alone. The consequences for victims’ mental health can be severe. Recent research reveals that “95% of stalking victims report ongoing psychological or mental health challenges” after stalking incidents: https://repository.londonmet.ac.uk/8989/l

Being stalked is deeply traumatic. A high percentage of survivors experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and it’s important that they can access support and ultimately trauma-focused psychological therapy to process the trauma.

If you’re being stalked, my advice would be: Tell someone. Healthcare professionals in particular can be strong and supportive allies, as well as charities like ours, particularly if you are vulnerable. They can also support you in going to the police to report the incidents.

As a charity, we’ve had to become tenacious advocates for victims of stalking who we support – specifically in communicating with the police on their behalf. Communicating the impact of stalking to the police has been immensely challenging. There have been failures to recognise risk on the part of the police, and failure to treat victims of stalking appropriately.

As well as charities like ours, there are also dedicated stalking charities that can help victims and who can advocate for victims: Paladin Service https://www.paladinservice.co.uk/ and Suzy Lamplugh Trust https://www.suzylamplugh.org/

We need to ensure that victims are believed and that the stalking incidents are recognised and properly categorised as stalking by the police. And we need better public understanding of stalking, so that family and friends can be supportive allies to victims.

If someone tells you that they are being stalked: Believe them. Support them. Learn all you can about stalking including the different stalking typologies and motivations: https://explore.bps.org.uk/content/report-guideline/bpsrep.2022.rep169/chapter/bpsrep.2022.rep169.7

Understand that there are male victims of stalking too, and that it may be very hard for them to come forward and disclose the crime. We’ve recently supported a male victim of stalking through the court processes. His (female) stalker was convicted and sentenced and a restraining order has been put in place.

He now awaits trauma-focused therapy for the impact of the crime. Stalking is profoundly psychologically damaging. We need to do so much more for victims. In the meantime, the support you can give as a friend, colleague or family member makes a massive difference. Indeed, it can sometimes make a lifesaving difference.

Joy Hibbins runs a Suicide Crisis Centre: https://www.suicidecrisis.co.uk

For support and advice if you’re experiencing stalking: The National Stalking Helpline https://www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

Paladin Stalking Advocacy Service: Paladin – National Stalking Advocacy Service

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